10 Things I Hated About Him

Even though I am in the middle of a chores, I decided to take a break and do this 10 Things I hated About Him that I found on a blog I subscribe to. I'm almost totally 100% sure I will be a mess by the time I am done with this but maybe not. [[deep breath]] Ready...set...go!!!

1. I hated when I was having a miscarriage and asked you to come to the hospital. You got off work early but instead of supporting me, you went waterskiing with your boss Ricky and turned off the cell phone.

2. I hated the way you'd let your mom tell everyone how horrible I was. Especially when she'd say things that weren't true (and you knew they weren't) yet you'd stand there and let her.

3. I hated the way you accused me of screwing anyone and everyone that came in contact with me. Didn't matter if it was a stranger, a family member, my best friend or anyone you were fixated on that day...I had to be screwing them.

4. I hate the way you pretended you had no money in the beginning and I paid for everything...only to find out months later that you had a grip of money in the bank and a pocketful of credit cards.

5. I hated the way you beat me like a man for hours when we didn't go to your Christmas party. We were supposed to meet your parents in Oakland to catch the ferry but we didn't make it because I didn't have a pair of heels. You told me to wear a pair of your mother's shoes. I said they won't fit. You punched me in the arm and made me get out of the truck at Lake Elizabeth. You drove off only to return a few minutes later. On the drive home you told me "We're not going to make it and it's your fucking fault. It's almost 2 and I figure my parents won't be back til around 11 or midnight. I'm gonna smoke that coke I've got then I'm gonna fuck you up. What the fuck am I supposed to tell them? You should've just wore my mom's fucking shoes, for Christ's sake!" and when I said I wanted to go home to my gramma's he told me "The only place you're going is straight inside and I'm gonna beat the fuck outta you." And you did. I hated that you smoked crack, then proceeded to beat the crap outta me and smashed my ring finger so bad my nailbed is forever fucked off.

6. I hated the way you broke my face so bad I couldn't leave the house for over 6 weeks. You knocked out my 2 front teeth and smashed my face with your elbow so hard that one of my teeth was embedded in it. You grabbed a handful of my hair and yelled "Fucking bitch! Look what you did to my elbow!" I hated that it took you 30 seconds before you saw what you did to my face and I hated it even more when you said you wouldn't take me to the hospital because you'd go to prison. And I hated that I looked like a monster and my kids cried because they were scared and all you were worried about was yourself. By the way, Hunter was barely 2 weeks old when this happened. God I really hated you for that.

7. I hated the way you didn't do anything when I had the abortion two days before you got arrested for domestic violence. It was a two day procedure and you didn't take me to the clinic nor would you watch Junior. On the day of the procedure, you got spun out of your mind and still didn't help or take care of me.

8. I hated the way years later (when you were half-assed with me & Michelle at the same time) when she had her breasts augmented, you called to tell me you couldn't come get me for a day or two. When I asked why you told me because you had to take care of her because she had her tits done. I hated that you couldn't understand why I was upset.

9. I hated how you called me one night from Rocklin (where you were living with Michelle but hadn't told me yet) and said you were on your way to come get me. I told you to wait because you were drunk. You showed up 2 hours later and spent 4 days with me. On the last day, we were parked in my neighbors driveway and we had sex in the back of Michelle's car. You hadn't even rolled off of me yet when you told me you were thinking about marrying her. Then you said "I can't do this...will you go with me to Rocklin so I can give her the car and get my truck and tell her that I love you and want to marry you. We can go to Reno and get married after we get my truck." I said yes and then you tell me "No. You'll be mean to her. Let me take her the truck and I'll back to get you later today." I told you "No you won't. If you don't take me now, you'll never marry me. I'm never going to see you again." You said yes you would and you'd be right back. I never saw you again. It's been over 5 years. And I hate you for that.

10. I hate the times you'd beat me within an inch of my life. Beat me like a man and choke me until my fingertips felt numb and I pissed myself and woke up on the opposite said of the house. I hated the way you wanted to have sex but wouldn't let me shower and got mad at me because I was crying. I hated that you didn't let me and still made me do it anyway.

I could probably go on and on and on. Maybe someday in the future I will continue but for now, this is enough. The thing that really gets me about making this list is how in the hell did I get out of it alive? And why did I stay with this monster for almost 9 years?