What time does my freakin' shift end, beeeeeeeeeotch?!

I get up pretty early in the morning. Not because I want to wake up early but because that's when my job starts. I am an in-home caregiver/companion/roommate to a 92 year old Serbian gem named Anna*. I guess I am what you'd call her PRIMARY caregiver. There is someone who is, for want of a better word, my backup. That someone is named Kellie*. And then there's Bojana*, Anna's niece/my best friend/my boss.

Until recently, it was just me doing the care. When I started working for the family back in September 2010, there had been another lady taking care of Anna. Things didn't work out so Bojana took the job on. I was somehow tossed into the mix and here I am 10 months later. Bojana does the administrative stuff and I do the taking care of part. It's worked out pretty good until about a month and a half ago when Anna took a turn for the worse.

The past 6 -7 weeks have been crazy, to say the least. Bojana and I finally agreed that there's no way we could care for Anna without help from a third party. We took this to the head of the family, Chris. He is Bojana's older brother. After much thought, we brought in Kellie.

This is where it starts to get sorta fucked up for me.

Even though I have "backup" now, I still spend pretty much 24 hours a day with Anna. She is pretty much bedridden indefinitely so she relies on me for everything...to bathe her, to cook for her, make her bed, change her Depends (Numbers 1 & 2), tuck her in at night, cut her fingernails, rub her legs, administer her medication, etc. Since she has been in bed for the last month or so, she obviously has to have someone with her 24/7. She cannot be left alone. Therefore I get no time to myself. I can't go to the store or to the library or on a date or to the movies or anywhere else for that matter.

Which poses a HUGE problem especially when I see everyone else doing what they want. Going shopping or to visit friends or to run errands are things I do not get to do anymore. And it sucks.

Take the last few days for instance. I've been pretty much doing all the caregiving, housework, cooking, etc. Yes, Bojana and Kellie help - a little. But for the most part, I'm the one who gets up with Anna in the morning and middle of the night. Yet I am the one who doesn't have a bed. I am the one who does not get to leave the house for days on end. I am the one with no life.

Bojana and I had words just the other day. She told me that she no one helps her. She does EVERYTHING and I do nothing. I just looked at her and asked "You're not serious, are you? I don't help you?" She looked me dead in the eye and said "No, you don't." It was after that argument that we realized how stressed we were. So a couple of days ago, the 3 of us decided we needed a schedule of sorts.

Since Bojana and Kellie are late sleepers, guess who gets to wake up at the crack of dawn? Bingo! Me. Not that I mind but when my co-workers sleep until 3 or 4 pm, I tend to get a little hot under the collar.

Hello?! Do you think either of them stop to think that I might want to sleep in? Oh no. Norma loves getting up at the crack of dawn while she'd rather be sleeping...she'd like to not have to worry about pissy and/or shitted Depends, morning meds and straightening up someone's bedding...she'd like to be the one that gets to sleep on a REAL mattress or even that air mattress in the other room behind a closed door instead of on a lumpy ass couch in a freezing ass living room right outside of Anna's bedroom.

I could be wrong here but I do 92-95% of the care around here. I care for Anna, clean up the house, cook, and do other miscellaneous things. Things that my "backup" could do in lieu of the shitty Depends or any of the other things I don't exactly like to do.

Tonight when Bojana and Chris returned from Costco, Jonesy and I unloaded the truck. Bojana brought in a couple of things then disappeared into her room. Guess who got to put the majority of things away...Bingo! Me. Bojana reappeared as I was just about to put the meats away. She said she'd do it. I had mentioned I would fry chicken after she was done as she had stuff all over the counter and stove. I went outside to smoke a cigarette with Jonesy. When I went back inside, I was met with Bojana's acid tongue. "Did you forget she needs to eat dinner? When were you going to feed her? You've been gone for 45 minutes. It's 8:15! Oh and I think she's calling you." I bit my tongue. It had only been 30 minutes and did she forget I'd been on the clock since 7 am?! It was painfully obvious to me that she had.

I went to Anna's room, changed her and got her ready for bed. When I went to take the garbage out, Bojana told me that tomorrow was Kellie's day. That she would be gettting up early and I wouldn't have to worry about a thing.

Uh yeah. What I want to know is...when does my freakin' shift end?!!!

*names have been changed for privacy