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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I was at Safeway earlier tonight and as I stood in line at the checkout, the lady in front of me asked "Aren't you sick of all this September 11th crap?"


WOW.

My first instinct was to punch her in the mouth but instead I just took a deep breath and silently counted to ten. As I exhaled, my left hand went to my right wrist and I pulled down the stainless steel 9/11 NYPD Memorial bracelet. I slipped it off my arm and rubbed it as if trying to draw strength from it. I knew I was going to need it if I was going to speak without my voice cracking.

"I mean, honestly, it's been ten years...let it go already. Stop beating a dead horse..." she droned on about the news coverage of the upcoming memorials planned for next week. "Seriously...we're on the west coast. What the hell do we have to do with it?"

Suddenly a strong firm voice replied "I'll tell you what we have to do with it, lady. Or rather what I have to do with it. Number 1 - I am an American. Number 2 - I lost someone that day. Number 3 - the day we forget about what happened that day is the day it's bound to happen again. Look I'm all for free speech and I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion...but I don't understand. I don't understand how you can ask that question without considering whether or not anyone has any personal ties to 9/11. Well I happen to have a personal interest in September 11 - my friend Nicole was on United Flight 93. So I'll be damned if I just let it go or forget what happened that day. You should be ashamed of yourself for being such an asshole."

It was then that I realized the voice that spoke those words was my very own. My two hands were balled up in fists and in one of them was my bracelet. I shoved it towards her. You could've heard a pin drop...the customers at the surrounding registers were staring at me wide-eyed. I squared my shoulders and asked her to please read the inscription.

She took the bracelet and held it gingerly. In a shaky voice, she read "The first line says: NYPD - 23 - WTC." She cleared her throat and continued "The bottom line says: 9 - 11 - 01." She gave it back to me and whispered "Sorry...I had no idea."

An older gentleman behind me asked where I got the bracelet and if he could see it. I handed it to him and he asked what the 23 meant. I explained that Bernard Kerik gave me the bracelet. At the time of the attacks, Mr. Kerik had been the Police Commissioner. He had lost 23 members of his security detail that day.

I don't remember much more about the rest of the night as I've been in a daze. It's almost 10 years. That's a long time to reflect...most of the time it seems like yesterday while other times it feels like it was a million years ago.

I'm sure I'll write again sometime in the next week. For now, I am exhausted. I forgot how out-of-whack and tired I get around this time of year.


I miss you, Nicole Miller. I really do.

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